Weather

This change in weather is wearing me out! I've gotten back into the gym since the weather has kept me from walking. It's so dark! It's dark when I get to work and it gets so dark so fast after I get home. Anyway, I try to ignore the dark as I go to the gym - "Go anyway!" right? Today after work I came home and had some wine and cheese and snoozed on the couch. I feel so old! I do enjoy snoozes though. I snoozed after I watched Glenn Beck. Did you know now all the evidence points in the direction of global cooling? It's all cycles. I never did buy into Global Warming, it's all about making Al Gore richer. I can't stand him. Anyway, that's a whole different subject.
I need to work on my creative short story, I'm going to try utilizing suggestions given to me in class, there were some great ones. I don't know what to do with my non fiction though. I like it but what's the point. Does anyone have a hard time finding a point to their stories?

Saturday's Game

I haven't blogged in while, honestly I needed a little break. The assignment we turned in Monday had worn me out. I'm getting excited for Saturday's game because I'm going to make something I used to have as a kid growning up. It's called a Kona. Kona's are pretty easy to make. You brown hamburger and onion together and then season. Next you fill four tortillas with meat and add Valveeta cheese on top. Then you fold it like a burito and deep fry it. I used to love eating them cold in the morning the next day--right out of the fridge! We just got a Presto Cool Touch fryer and I had never gotten one before. I love it because it has a lid that comes down so you don't spatter oil everywhere. It also has a charcoal filter so your house does not smell like a fry factory for a week. I made another little treat called a Dough-god. I'm not sure how to spell it but basically you flatten biscuit dough like a pancake and tear a hole in the middle. When it's done browning in the oil you shake it in sugar. Looks like a doughnut when you are done. They are very messy so it's best to eat them over the kitchen sink! Otherwise, you will definitely be stepping in sugar crystals on the floor! I'm gonna have to head back to the gym with all this rain we've been having; I haven't been able to go on a walk. That's another subject...

Boobs

Back when I was around 13 or so, I guess, I remember when I had to go with my mom to buy my first training bra. I remember feeling so grown up; I was passing into a new part of my life going from little girl to young woman. It was a Saturday and my mom took me to Penneys because she used to work there. She would get a discount any anything she would buy. We headed to the women's langerie department and I remember seeing so many different styles, sizes and colors. Thankfully, when you are looking for a training bra, there really isn't a huge selection to decide from. You have your basic colors; ivory, tan, white. I remember the lady measuring my body to see what my measurement was around my chest, on the outside of my clothes, of course! I remember trying a couple on, I didn't know what they were supposed to feel like. We bought a couple and went home. Immediately I went to my room and put one one. I remember the feeling I had, like a said, I felt like a real woman. I thought for sure everyone would have noticed and approved. All I could think about was how I was feeling, but come to think of it, I'm sure everyone else was just glad I had my girls taken care of. I mean, nobody wants to look at a 13 year girl that obviously needs a bra but doesn't have one. Then they probably look at the mother standing next to her, glaring. "What's the matter with you? Can't you take her to get a bra? Can't you see that she needs one badly? She looks like she has miniature evergreens growing out of her shirt!"

When I had my first child I decided to try and breast feed. I was scared to try but believed it was very important for the baby. I remember coming home from the hospital and the nurses coaching me before I left explaining how the milk come in. Sometimes, the nurse told me, it could take a few days and she assure me not to worry, it would happen. Well, while I was waiting for this to happen, my breasts became more and more sore each time I tried. It got to the point where I actually had blisters on my nipples! I'd actually put a piece of ice on them to help cool them down and numb them. In the meantime I kept growing more and more concerned wondering if my baby was getting anything at all and worrying he would waste away to nothing. My husband would call me barren, which didn't help. Then to top it all off Jonathan would only sleep for a few hours at a time so I was exhausted constantly. So the combination of no milk coming in and my concern about that, the pain of the blisters and the lack of sleep, well, you know what I did? I went and bought some bottles! Problem solved!

I'm thinking of mammograms and pancakes.

Shower and Shave

"Thanks Emily, come back soon, ok?"
I turned to my station looking at the floor and started sweeping up the hair from Emily's head. Too many grays, I'll have to talk to her next time about covering that up with color. As I stood there in a daze, something caught my eye, raising my head I peered out the window. Too late to hide, I took a deep breath wishing I could instantly disappear. The man was haggard, as usual. He slapped his wallet down onto the table, and as he did so smelled like garbage that's been sitting around for days. His shirt stained with what appeared to be last night's dinner. His hair, peppered with sawdust, layed heavy against his forehead and was greasy. His jeans were dirty and ripped on the side, showing his black leg hair. Tan boots covered in cement, dropped particles onto the floor with every step, and were heavy and loud when he walked. When he spoke his voice eched across the room, filling the entire salon with sound.
"I need a haircut and shave!" he bellowed.
All the other girls were busy with their own customers, nothing could save me from that moment. I wanted to tell him to go to the nearest trough and fall in, not coming back until he's clean. I wanted to tell him to stay outside and I'd bring the clippers to him, shaving him like a sheep! I wanted to tell him a lot of certainties regarding hygiene...I remained silent.

Sick?

I've been hearing of so many people that are sick lately but still attempt to go to class, giving other people their sickness, I'm sure. I wish they would stay home and take care of themselves. What makes them think they have to do it all and who is putting this pressure on them? My son goes to UNL and they have communicated to the students and teachers, if a student is sick with the flu, the teacher is not to punish them for not coming to class and the student needs to quarantine themselves from the rest. That's the way it should be. I am not getting impression the people who are blogging are getting this. Does MCC have such a policy? And what if you only have a class that is one night a week? I guess if you are faithful about coming to class in the first place, missing one night is not going to hurt anything, right? But if you are not coming every night you have class.....I can see where being sick could create a problem. If you are doing the right thing in the first place it will all work out in the end. If you're not doing the right thing, I believe you'll be screwed. The hard path is always the correct path. Don't do what is easy. Any moron can handle that. Do what's hard. When I am sick sometimes the hardest thing to do is stay home. I have too much work to do! They need me! Stay home if you're sick.

Bathtub Poem

Rolling across the floor, a small
red ball the size of a tennis
ball, coated with grape jelly marks
put there by the 2 year old who
sent it on its way, rolled right on
to my nice freshly scrubbed floor, but
thankfully did not land on my
freshly washed white rug! Now my 2
year old, coming round the corner,
his fingers covered with the strong
residue of grape jelly, peanut
butter, and bread holds what is left
of a peanut butter and
jelly sandwich, or is it something
else entirely? No, it’s surely
PB&J. He walks up to
me slowly stretching out his small
hands, reaching. Oh no, my little
sweetheart, my little monster covered
in goo, off to the bathtub with
this mess! I swept him up holding
him under his arms; my arms stretched
out as far as they cold go, briskly
walking into the bathroom where
the tub was waiting! I grabbed the
faucet and gave it a turn. Grabbing
the toy bag, Mr. Duck, with his
smooth bright yellow body, fell
right into the water giving
a tiny splash. My son, so
excited, crawled into his play
land, being careful not to slip.
Laughing, he squeezes the soap bottle
sending liquid into the water…
”Bubbles!” he cried. I washed him from
head to toe, scrubbing and rinsing
his tiny frame. Oh, much better
now! Yanking the towel from the
rack, my little boy, now soaked, chilled
and slippery, climbed into the
warm outstretched towel and smiled. I do
believe, at that very moment,
nestled tightly together, there
was no better place to be.

Change Champion

Not much going on tonite, thinking of a meeting I had this morning. We are implementing a new program at work which will eventually enable us to be paperless. I cannot imagine not having a piece of paper between my fingers when I'm processing a claim. It's going to be a challenge for me. Anyway, so I am what is called a Change Champion. I am supposed to communicate to my co-workers anything I learn and to encourage everyone to be excited about this change that is coming and to help them realize how important it will be for our company to stay competative. I sit by a girl that will find anything and everything to complain about; very negative. I think she will have a very hard time with this. Always complaining. Management is supposed to give us the tools to help us do what we are called on to do. Being asked to participate in this manner, I think, is a real plus for me. It means that I am viewed as a positive person who has leadership qualities. Someone who is flexible and open to new things. I am glad to be a part of this group.